Self-control - Two Different Ways

As I was waking this morning, the thought came to mind that there are two totally different kinds of self-control. Of course the good kind is part of the fruit of the Spirit found in Galations 5:22-23.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law."

Self-control in this context is not so much me controlling myself as it is me allowing the Holy Spirit to have control of myself. Notice where it is in the order of the fruit of the Spirit. If the other characteristics of the fruit of the Spirit are in order (love, joy, peace, etc.), then it will be so much easier for self-control to happen.

This kind of self-control only comes through the spirit. The other kind of self-control comes through the soul. What's the difference? Man has three parts. The spirit is that core of us that communes with our Creator. The soul is made up of our mind, will and emotions. Our bodies are what we are walking around in. When sin entered the equation with Adam and Eve, their spirits died. Since then, all of us are born in sin. So all of us have a void where our spirits should be until we are "born again" by having that spirit come alive within us when we accept Christ's sacrifice that actually reconciles us to God again. How awesome that Christ's Spirit, the Holy Spirit, actually comes in to make residence within us!

Before that happens, self-control happens in the soul--our mind, will and emotions. This is when it is more me controlling myself, my way, and has tendency to end up in seeking control and manipulation over others as well. What I see happening in this is that the will sinks down, and the mind and emotions rise to the top. When this happens, the person makes decisions with their will based on their thoughts and how they feel. The outcome can be disastrous! That's probably another blog post if we were to get into what influences thoughts which influence feelings. Let's just say without being transformed by the renewing of the mind (as Romans 12 says), self-control ends up being much more bondage than freedom.

If we look back up to the scripture listing the fruit of the Spirit, we notice that it starts with a "but." That is a conjunction. We have to see what precedes it to get the full comparison of these two types of "self-control." Let's look at Galatians 5:19-21:

"The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery;idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God."

Wow! That's what self-control without the Spirit leads to, and that is bondage. Read over those two scripture passages again (Gal. 5:22-23 and Gal. 5:19-21). Which would you rather have? Which would you rather those with which you have close relationships to have?

How do we do it? How do we get the freedom of self-control that brings peace and joy and not live in the bondage of control and manipulation? We have to look at the verses that precede and that follow the verses we've already read. First, let's look at the preceding verses of Galatians 5:16-18.

"So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law."

Now let's look at the verses that follow all this by reading Galatians 5:24-25.

"Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit."

I pray that reading this post will help to spark a desire deep within the readers to want the kind of self-control that is from Galatians 5:22-23 and not the kind in Galatians 5:19-21. It's an awesome journey that leads to abundant life! One in which you can relax and take deep breaths of relief instead of hiperventalating trying to control your world!

One more thought...remember we are three parts? Spirit, soul and body? Well, our bodies benefit or suffer depending on which self-control you allow yourself to have. There are many reasons for sickness. I venture to say, though, that a big portion of our sickness is due to messed up thoughts, emotions, and wrong decisions. Remember? That's the soulish self-control. Sometimes we pray for people to be well, but we forget to pray for them to let go of the selfish kind of self-control so that they can be well! I pray that for you today! (and me!)

Change

What comes to your mind when you read the title to this blog? Are you facing change in your life? Are you changing? Is someone trying to change you? Are you trying to change someone else? Do you need a little pocket change to buy something? I looked up "change" on dictionary.com and couldn't believe all the sermons that await me! It intrigued me so that I decided to blog about it and link the title to this post to its definition. (Click on the word "change" above to read it's definitions.)

If you go to the link you will notice that there are 8 definitions for "change" as a verb used with an object and 9 definitions for the word as a verb used without an object. The very first definition under "verb used with an object" is "to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone." The 4th definition is "to give and take reciprocally; interchange." Think about that. God made each of us to be different. If we get stuck in our perspective, that way God created us to perceive issues, people, etc, then we will try to change others to be like we are. On the other hand, each of us has positive traits in which others lack that can have a positive influence on them for productive changes to be made in their lives. I don't know about you, but I personally don't want to change someone to be something that God did not create them to be. If they change to be just like me, they won't need me anymore! I like the 4th definition better. I want to view other people God brings to me in a positive light. I want them to see me in a positive light. Let's focus on each other's strengths and not focus on the weaknesses we would love to change. Let's give reciprocally to promote positive change and stop trying to force someone to live in a mold God did not create for them.

We all have people in authority over us and under us. This works both ways. If we try to force change in someone in leadership over us, it is a sign of rebellion. If we try to force people to change that answer to us in authority (employees or children), it is a sign of control and manipulation. Wow! Sometimes that is not our heart's intention at all, but that is what others perceive. Ouch! I am challenged now to pray that God will show me my perspective, the other persons perspective, and more importantly HIS perspective about how we are made and what needs to change. I want God to show me how to pray for the other person. I will then start seeing change in their life from the inside out and not because I forced it. I will also start seeing those things God does not want to change in them, because He did not make them for the change I want them to have. Then I will change! Remember that there are definitions for "change" that are a "verb used with an object" and "verb used without an object." A couple of definitions under "verb used without an object" are "to become different" and "to become transformed." I like that! When we spend time with God in close communion we can't help but to be changed. That change will be the way HE wants it...transformed by the renewing of our minds that we may prove what that good and acceptable will of God is for our lives. The chapter in the Bible where that comes from (Romans 12) goes on to tell us that we are all different and we need each other. It warns us of not thinking too highly of ourselves than we ought (that someone has to change to be like us). The Apostle Paul also urged us in verse 10 of that chapter to "be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another."

Lord help us to seek You in this area of change. Show us how to love each other in spite of our differences. Remind us that what we think is a strength, someone else thinks is a weakness. That's because You created us to take care of different things in the body of Christ. Help us to respect that in others and trust you to bring the change in each of us that YOU want us to have...from the inside out...change that shows spiritual growth and the development of the Godly character You want in each of us. I pray You will use my personality to edify and build up those you place in my life and not tear them down. In Jesus' Mighty Name, AMEN!!