Love as You Love Yourself

I actually wrote this in 1989. The only thing I added now that I am posting this in 2010 is the phrase "the older I get, the more I learn not to". It is encouraging to me as I read this I realize that those tendancies you are about to read about that I did so often are not much of an issue anymore. It must be true that with gray hair comes wisdom!

I must learn to love myself (not have a poor self image) before my relationships with other people reach their full potential. Of course I do not love the creation more than the creator (Rom. 1:25) Maybe I should say, I love Christ within me. There is only one God, but there are many Christians. Each one has a different personality through which Christ is revealed. The Bible says in Mark 12:33 to “love your neighbor as yourself.” How can we love our neighbor if we do not love ourselves?

This is different from pride. Pride means you think you are better than others. The truth is that deep down people with pride really do not love themselves.

I remember after I first got married; I wanted to change my whole personality. My self concept was suffering. You see, some might say that I’m very out-going. However, that is not always good! Even though my foot tastes awful, it seems I have chewed it down to the bone—the old “foot-in-the-mouth” syndrome! The older I get, the more I learn not to, but especially in times past I have told people what I think of something as if they asked for my opinion! I knew immediately that I should not have opened my mouth. I would come home, and Bill could tell right off; “What did you say this time?” Then there were those times that Bill was with me, and he knew I would say something I shouldn't’ so he gently nudged my knee with his hand to remind me to keep quiet. It saved me from a lot of turmoil. That started making me want to be like Bill instead of me. I was down on myself for weeks. Finally, Bill sat me down and talked to me. He said he married me for who I was, not so he could change me to be like him. He said that I had opened him up more than anyone else had ever done; never before had he been able to express his inner-most feelings. It was then that I realized the awesome miracle of our marriage. God knew what each of us needed, and He put us together to compliment each other and to be truly one in Christ! Oh yes, Bill still has to nudge my knee sometimes, and I have to ask him quite a bit what he is thinking, but we have a much more exciting marriage than if we were so much alike.

God made each of us uniquely perfect with our own personalities. Since we are born in sin (Rom 5:14, 17, and 3:23), we all have flaws in our personalities. The more time we spend with our Creator and other children of God, the more the flaws decrease. God takes out the tendency to gossip in the extravert and the evil thoughts that are not spoken in the introvert. It just takes spending time with Him in intimate communion and a sincere, repentant heart.

Time spent with other Christians is also very important. We compliment each other. Just as a man and wife are better together than apart—because one’s strengths are the other’s weaknesses and visa versa—so the church needs to bind together as one. Imagine how we would so encourage one another and bring out each other’s strengths if we all would gather together after following the first step of individual time with God. (Matt. 22:37-38) The best of every Christian's personalities combined would be so much more like Christ than just one person. Isn’t that our goal—to be like Christ? Let’s help each other—build each other up—never cut the other down. (Gal 6:2) Then the church will be “a glorious church without spot or wrinkle” at the time of Christ’s return. (Ep. 5:27) Glory be to God, the Creator of all!

Courage to Speak Up

Today's post is written by a friend who came to our writer's group at the Equipping Center last night. The assignment was to write a devotional with a scripture, application, prayer, thought for the day and prayer focus. I thought it was great! Here it is:

Read Ezekiel 3:17-21

“When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die; and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way to save his life; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood will I require at thine hand.” Ez. 3:18

How many times a day do you see someone who is very clearly doing wrong? Either hurting someone, stealing, vandalizing, lying – all these things seem to be more prevalent every day.

Now the tough question – how many times do you speak up and tell that person what they are doing is not right? Whether we hold back out of fear (especially of a stranger) or hold back because we love the person (and don’t want to hurt their feelings or make them not like us), we are still doing the perpetrator a grave disservice, possibly to the cost of his own life.

Lately I have begun to make people angry because I just can’t sit around and watch this happen anymore. I can’t enable someone to continue on in their sin by not saying “I see you, don’t you think God sees you, too???” At best, I am called blunt. At worst… well, I can’t write that word here. I just know that I don’t want anyone’s blood required at my hand. I have enough of my own transgressions to be held responsible for.

Prayer - “Dear God, give us all the courage to speak up in the situations that you lead us into. Gives us the wisdom of not only what to say, but how to say it and to only speak your will. Give us the integrity to speak only out of love and never out of judgment. Amen”

Thought for the Day - Think back to a time when you felt like you needed to speak up, but you didn’t. Maybe that was the Holy Spirit giving you a nudge. It’s called conviction.

Prayer Focus - Pray for the ones who do speak up and are persecuted for their courage.

What is the Opposite of Love?

Any thoughts on that question? Most would probably say "hate." I'm here to say I disagree. "Hate" is not the opposite of "love"...it is a by-product of the opposite of "love." I think the opposite of "love" is "self-absorption."

This might be contrary to the world's view of "love." To many, "self-absorption" is a synonym of the word instead of an antonym. Think about it. One might say, "I love ice cream." "I love to party." "I love sex." They "love" all those things because of what they bring to themselves. That type of "love" quickly leads to obesity, addictions, sexually transmitted diseases, depression (when they can't get what they "love"), and anxiety (when they do what they can to try to get what they "love.") Ultimately it could also lead to hate when one sees others with what he "loves," but he does not see them doing anything to help him get it. How futile! What ends up being a journey to get all the gusto for self (because after all, we only live once!), ends up leading to self-destruction.

True love brings freedom from that downward cycle of destruction. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends." That's exactly what Jesus Christ did for us. He is our example. "By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down [our] lives for the brethren." (1 John 3:16) If we truly love others, we will put aside our desires and do what we can to give the other person what pleases them. Then, because we love them, we take pleasure in seeing them fulfilled. If they truly love us, they will do the same for us. Then our "self" ends up getting fulfilled in an unselfish way...with fulfillment and life instead of destruction.

I challenge you today to find ways to forget about yourself and show a random act of kindness for someone else. Think about your actions this week. See if you are acting out of "self-absorption" or unselfish, true love.

As Much as Lies Within Us...

"If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men." Romans 12:18

That verse has been ringing in my spirit quite a bit lately. Another version says, "as much as lies in you..." I like that translation. Think about it. If we indeed are the temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19), and if indeed we are filled with the fullness of God (Eph. 3:19), what if we allowed the God in us to shine forth in our time with other people? Wow! He is the Prince of Peace! (Isaiah 9:6) Our problem is that we get in the way. We become self-absorbed, thinking about our own perspective without a thought of the other person's perspective, or more importantly, without a thought of God's perspective.

Let's think for a moment about what peace is. One might think it is the absence of strife, division or pain. Is that peace? No. Peace is not the absence of anything. On the contrary, It is the presence of something. Ultimate peace is the presence of God. There is nothing like the peace you can experience when you are in the manifest presence of Almighty God! The Bible says that it is a peace that "passes all understanding." (Phil. 4:6-7) If we remember that it is the presence of something instead of the absence of something, we will realize that we can have true peace in the midst of all kinds of turmoil around us. If peace were really the absence of strife, we would only have peace in the good times. In this world, that would sure limit how much peace we can have! Paul got it. That's why he could say in Phillippians 4:11, "I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content."

The enemy sure wants to rob families, churches, communities, schools, and workplaces of peace. We cannot do anything about how other people react to issues that arise, but we can do more on our part to bring peace to a situation. I challenge you to take this to prayer. Every day this week, start the day by asking God to help you to remember to take Him to people with whom you come in contact. Pray that you will line up with Him. I like to say, "Lord, I place myself under You today. Let people see You and not me. I want to be a conduit of your love, peace, and healing to everyone who crosses my path. Help me remember that I take You with me wherever I go!"

I would love to hear from anyone who takes this challenge. Please come back and leave a comment about how this changes things in relationships in your life. You will more than likely notice a change within you first. You will start to see that you can experience peace even if the other person is not showing peace to you. Prayerfully, they will start seeing the peace in you and want it for themselves. I also suggest to read Ephesians 4:20-32 and Romans 12 and ask God to help you put this to practice. May God's Peace become real to you today!